So. We're potty-training.
Enough said.
Enough said, but I will say more...
Potty training with my older daughter was quite the adventure. She showed all the signs of being ready, she is totally intelligent and verbal, and I naively thought, "This won't be too bad!" I really, really tried to be realistic and my head thinking, "Potty training is challenging. There will be times of frustration. She won't pick it up right away..." But really in the back of my head I knew MY daughter is amazing and wonderful and above-average and potty-training, as with most other tasks she takes on, would be a piece of cake.
Somehow I didn't anticipate the tears, and the yelling, and unending cleaning up of mind-blowing messes.
Yes, I know potty-training isn't supposed to involve tears and yelling. "Supposed to" being the key phrase. Just like breast-feeding is supposed to be natural, and six month olds are supposed to sleep through the night, and on and on and on.
Granted, Violet did pick up potty training amazingly fast. By the second day she was going either number one or two almost every time we sat her down on the toilet! And by the end of that week was really only having about two accidents a day. I was absolutely floored!
But now we're six weeks in. And there's still good days and bad days. Today was a good day, only one major accident. Wednesday on the other hand, was a bad day. But I guess when you combine diarrhea with potty-training it would be bad for any child.
So, six weeks in we're not there yet. And that's to be expected, but it doesn't make the pee on the couch or the poop on her hand from where she sticks her hand in her dirty diaper or the bucket of stinky diapers any less frustrating. Just like when you know your extremely busy grocery store will only have three lanes open when you have a full cart and you're in a hurry. Expected? Yes. Frustrating? YES.
This too will pass....
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Monday, August 3, 2009
Miracles Still Happen... and They Have Hands
"When it gets warmer and it rains- and it's not lightning!- you can go out and play in the rain."
This is the promise we have been making to Hope since May. Little did we know it would decide to stop raining in Wisconsin for about two months. The lakes and rivers have been down. All the grass is brown. (Well, except for the lady down the street who is obviously obsessive-compulsive about her lawn.)
Finally last Saturday- rain! It began to pour. It was daytime. It was not lightning. And it was warm. All Hope's needed criteria. She took one look out the window and blurted out, "Can I play in the rain?!?" So we sent her out, Minnie Mouse nightgown and all, and she fulfilled her summer dream. It was adorable and fun and very summer carefree-ish.
Being the typical mama that I am, I made sure I had the digital camera and video camera in hand, and captured precious footage of my three year old running through the rain, splashing in puddles, and laughing. I even enjoyed Violet not enjoying the rain. My husband, parents and I laughed as she would step out wanting to play with her sister, then feeling the wet, aerial assault would wrinkle her nose and run back in the garage.
When Hope announced she was finished, I grabbed a wet child under each arm and wrestled them inside with admonitions not to do anything or touch anything but go straight to the bathtub, which they did.
Fast forward four days...
My in-laws were in town from Ohio and we were heading out the door to watch an aerial stunt show at the country's biggest airplane convention.
"Have you seen the video camera?" I asked my husband.
He hadn't. We searched the places we would normally keep it, then all the other places we might accidentally set it down. Then, backtracking to the previous rainy Saturday, we looked all over the garage. Nowhere.
We left for the stunt show with no video camera, my husband reassuring me, "It will show up." But I had a fear taking root. A fear that I had set the camera on the bumper of the car. A fear that in the chaos of taking two kids in from the rain and giving them a bath, the camera had been left on the car's bumper until one of us drove away with it until it bounced off... who knows where. I wanted to cry- and couldn't. Just a small electronic gadget, and yet, the avenue of preserving my family's memories.
Looking back on my own childhood, my parents will tell you today that one of their regrets is that they never bought a video camera. They still wish they had moving footage of our family's memories. Knowing this, a mini-DVD recorder was something my husband and I sacrificed for when we were expecting our first child. We pinched our pennies and purchased that small electronic gadget... that would enable us to record and save priceless, irreplaceable moments in time.
After a week, we resigned ourselves to the fact that our video camera was lost. Maybe crushed on a road somewhere, maybe in some stranger's hands, but gone nonetheless. I contemplated making a flyer about our lost camera and passing it out around the neighborhood. After all, if the camera had fallen off the car, it couldn't have landed far, right?
Imagine our surprise when my husband received a message on Facebook from a stranger saying, "I think I may have your video camera..." We were instructed to call the police department if the video camera was ours and they would give us the number for the person holding the camera.
Phone calls were placed and returned and I was overjoyed Friday when a woman came to our door holding our camera! She and her husband had been driving a mile from our home when they saw the camera laying the road.
Knowing nothing about video cameras, they eventually figured out how to watch the enclosed video to see if there were any clues such as us saying our name or a video showing the front of our house. The video of Hope and Violet in the rain showed our front yard, and they spent part of one day driving around the neighborhood where they had found the camera looking for a fire hydrant and large rock matching the ones in our yard from the video. They called the local police department, but no report had been filed. (The thought never even crossed my mind...)
It took a couple of days before the husband of this duo accidentally opened the door to the mini-DVD (knowing nothing about video cameras, this hadn't occurred to them before). Praise God I had written our last name on the disk, as well as the date I put it in the camera. Finally- a clue! They enlisted the help of a family member who was familiar with the internet and Facebook who looked up our last name and discovered my husband- located near where they had found the camera.
What followed was a Facebook message, several phone calls, and a joyous reunion! With a small... electronic... gadget.
This is the promise we have been making to Hope since May. Little did we know it would decide to stop raining in Wisconsin for about two months. The lakes and rivers have been down. All the grass is brown. (Well, except for the lady down the street who is obviously obsessive-compulsive about her lawn.)
Finally last Saturday- rain! It began to pour. It was daytime. It was not lightning. And it was warm. All Hope's needed criteria. She took one look out the window and blurted out, "Can I play in the rain?!?" So we sent her out, Minnie Mouse nightgown and all, and she fulfilled her summer dream. It was adorable and fun and very summer carefree-ish.
Being the typical mama that I am, I made sure I had the digital camera and video camera in hand, and captured precious footage of my three year old running through the rain, splashing in puddles, and laughing. I even enjoyed Violet not enjoying the rain. My husband, parents and I laughed as she would step out wanting to play with her sister, then feeling the wet, aerial assault would wrinkle her nose and run back in the garage.
When Hope announced she was finished, I grabbed a wet child under each arm and wrestled them inside with admonitions not to do anything or touch anything but go straight to the bathtub, which they did.
Fast forward four days...
My in-laws were in town from Ohio and we were heading out the door to watch an aerial stunt show at the country's biggest airplane convention.
"Have you seen the video camera?" I asked my husband.
He hadn't. We searched the places we would normally keep it, then all the other places we might accidentally set it down. Then, backtracking to the previous rainy Saturday, we looked all over the garage. Nowhere.
We left for the stunt show with no video camera, my husband reassuring me, "It will show up." But I had a fear taking root. A fear that I had set the camera on the bumper of the car. A fear that in the chaos of taking two kids in from the rain and giving them a bath, the camera had been left on the car's bumper until one of us drove away with it until it bounced off... who knows where. I wanted to cry- and couldn't. Just a small electronic gadget, and yet, the avenue of preserving my family's memories.
Looking back on my own childhood, my parents will tell you today that one of their regrets is that they never bought a video camera. They still wish they had moving footage of our family's memories. Knowing this, a mini-DVD recorder was something my husband and I sacrificed for when we were expecting our first child. We pinched our pennies and purchased that small electronic gadget... that would enable us to record and save priceless, irreplaceable moments in time.
After a week, we resigned ourselves to the fact that our video camera was lost. Maybe crushed on a road somewhere, maybe in some stranger's hands, but gone nonetheless. I contemplated making a flyer about our lost camera and passing it out around the neighborhood. After all, if the camera had fallen off the car, it couldn't have landed far, right?
Imagine our surprise when my husband received a message on Facebook from a stranger saying, "I think I may have your video camera..." We were instructed to call the police department if the video camera was ours and they would give us the number for the person holding the camera.
Phone calls were placed and returned and I was overjoyed Friday when a woman came to our door holding our camera! She and her husband had been driving a mile from our home when they saw the camera laying the road.
Knowing nothing about video cameras, they eventually figured out how to watch the enclosed video to see if there were any clues such as us saying our name or a video showing the front of our house. The video of Hope and Violet in the rain showed our front yard, and they spent part of one day driving around the neighborhood where they had found the camera looking for a fire hydrant and large rock matching the ones in our yard from the video. They called the local police department, but no report had been filed. (The thought never even crossed my mind...)
It took a couple of days before the husband of this duo accidentally opened the door to the mini-DVD (knowing nothing about video cameras, this hadn't occurred to them before). Praise God I had written our last name on the disk, as well as the date I put it in the camera. Finally- a clue! They enlisted the help of a family member who was familiar with the internet and Facebook who looked up our last name and discovered my husband- located near where they had found the camera.
What followed was a Facebook message, several phone calls, and a joyous reunion! With a small... electronic... gadget.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
First Sunburn
My beautiful, fair-skinned baby got her first sunburn today. In her three and a half years of life on this planet, I have managed to protect her delicate skin from the damaging assault of the sun's rays. The smell of summer in the Songing household is sun screen.
Hope went to a friend's house for the day. Today, which happened to be the hottest day Wisconsin has seen so far this year. Today, when Hope decided she would wear a strappy pink sundress. Today, when the girls spent most of the day playing outside in the sprinkler.
I instructed the friend caring for my daughter as soon as I walked in the door and dropped her off that Hope would need sunscreen while playing outside. I mentioned how sensitive her skin is.
And then this evening as I packed for an upcoming family visit I noticed Hope's arms we very... pink. I took a closer look and found bands of reddening skin on her arms, the back of her legs, and the back of her neck. My heart dropped.
I know it's just a sunburn. I know it's practically part and parcel of childhood. I know it is not serious and will be gone in a few days.
But to see that damage to my baby's skin, damage that has been avoided all this time, damage I wasn't personally there to protect her from; angered me, frustrated me.
And whom am I angry at? Not at Hope, who, up until today, did not even understand what a sunburn was. Not at my friend even, who did abide by my instructions to apply sunscreen to Hope. (Although obviously not thoroughly enough...!!!) Not at anyone really.
I'm just frustrated by the situation. I'm frustrated that tomorrow morning my little girl is going to wake up feeling like her arms and legs are hot, tender, and itchy and that I won't be able to take it away for her. And though I've prevented this situation all her life, I wasn't able to prevent it this time. I'm frustrated that she is hurt and I can't help her.
...And yet, I know that this is only the beginning. She is three years old. I have no idea the situations and problems that are going to arise over the coming years. The scraped knees, the sprained ankles, the fights with friends, the broken hearts... the complete unfairness of life.
As the years pass, Hope will face more and more hurts that I am not able to fix. Hurts much worse, and longer-lasting, than a sunburn. And as a mother, I want to wipe away her tears, and hold her close, and take the pain away. And I can't. I would take the sunburn myself if I could... but I can't. All I can do is comfort her and encourage her and try to ease the pain in the little ways that I am able. And I hope as she experiences the pains of life, that I can explain to her that this pain will pass, and life will go forward, and she has the opportunity to be better because of it.
Hope went to a friend's house for the day. Today, which happened to be the hottest day Wisconsin has seen so far this year. Today, when Hope decided she would wear a strappy pink sundress. Today, when the girls spent most of the day playing outside in the sprinkler.
I instructed the friend caring for my daughter as soon as I walked in the door and dropped her off that Hope would need sunscreen while playing outside. I mentioned how sensitive her skin is.
And then this evening as I packed for an upcoming family visit I noticed Hope's arms we very... pink. I took a closer look and found bands of reddening skin on her arms, the back of her legs, and the back of her neck. My heart dropped.
I know it's just a sunburn. I know it's practically part and parcel of childhood. I know it is not serious and will be gone in a few days.
But to see that damage to my baby's skin, damage that has been avoided all this time, damage I wasn't personally there to protect her from; angered me, frustrated me.
And whom am I angry at? Not at Hope, who, up until today, did not even understand what a sunburn was. Not at my friend even, who did abide by my instructions to apply sunscreen to Hope. (Although obviously not thoroughly enough...!!!) Not at anyone really.
I'm just frustrated by the situation. I'm frustrated that tomorrow morning my little girl is going to wake up feeling like her arms and legs are hot, tender, and itchy and that I won't be able to take it away for her. And though I've prevented this situation all her life, I wasn't able to prevent it this time. I'm frustrated that she is hurt and I can't help her.
...And yet, I know that this is only the beginning. She is three years old. I have no idea the situations and problems that are going to arise over the coming years. The scraped knees, the sprained ankles, the fights with friends, the broken hearts... the complete unfairness of life.
As the years pass, Hope will face more and more hurts that I am not able to fix. Hurts much worse, and longer-lasting, than a sunburn. And as a mother, I want to wipe away her tears, and hold her close, and take the pain away. And I can't. I would take the sunburn myself if I could... but I can't. All I can do is comfort her and encourage her and try to ease the pain in the little ways that I am able. And I hope as she experiences the pains of life, that I can explain to her that this pain will pass, and life will go forward, and she has the opportunity to be better because of it.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
First Movie
A child's first movie used to be a rite of passage. My older brother's first movie was Star Wars and my husband remembers going to the theater for the first time and seeing E.T. "Used to be", not so anymore.
Go to an animated feature at a theater now and you'll see children as young as a few months- even weeks- old at the theater along with their families. Not that it's a problem, sometimes if the family is going to see a movie, taking baby along is the only way to make it happen. But my point is that more often than not, children as young as one and two years old are almost as accustomed to making the trip to the movie theater as the trip to the grocery store.
Well, call me old-fashioned or over the top, but I was hoping my daughters' first "real" movie would be a special event they would remember for years to come. So we've been watching and waiting for the right time for Hope to go to the theater.
An obvious prerequisite was that she have the attention span to sit through an entire full-length movie at home. That requirement was only recently fulfilled. The next step was to wait for a movie to come out that my particular three year old would actually watch. For her, this means animation only. To her, real people= boring. To top it all off, Mommy (that would be me) is pretty particular about what movies Hope is allowed to watch at all. Even if it's a movie supposedly made for kids, I don't think a bunch of added-in adult humor, even though it goes over kids' head, is necessary. And although it's nearly impossible, we try to avoid toilet humor in movies. That comes naturally enough to kids already, I don't feel the need to encourage it further by providing my daughter with new material.
Hope's and my criteria was finally met with Disney's newest release UP!
We made a big deal with Hope about going to the movie theater. We talked to her in advance about how she would have to whisper during the movie because there would be a lot of other people there watching. We talked up the popcorn and asked her what kind of snack she would want.
All the preparation must have paid off because Hope's first movie was a success. A few moments were intense for her and she covered her eyes. The movie was during and past her bedtime as well, so she did get tired and was reclined in my lap by the time the movie was over. And due to her sensitivity to loud noises, Hope spent approximately half the movie with her hands over her ears. But overall, Faith thoroughly enjoyed the theater experience and our choice for her first movie.
On a side note, if you're going to take your newborn to a movie with you, a few tips. One, make sure they're well fed and either rested or ready to sleep during the movie. Two, be prepared to feed them- breast or bottle- or have a pacifier handy, should they start to make their presence known in the middle of the movie. Third, sit near an aisle so that, should the previous two efforts fail, you can make a quick exit to avoid disturbing other theater patrons. Fourth, and finally, as a last resort, if your tiny movie watcher should become inconsolable, be mentally prepared in advance that you may have to leave the theater altogether and possibly miss seeing the whole film and waste the money you spent on a ticket.
(That being said, I suppose it's quite obvious that we had a family with a small baby sitting directly behind us during the movie that was not entirely respectful of those around her. She definitely stayed within the parameters of proper theater decorum though. Also, I say the above as that this is what I would mentally prepare myself for if I chose to take an infant to a movie theater. In reality, I've chosen to avoid all of the above and just not do it.)
All a child's firsts are new and exciting hurdles their parents leap with them. And Hope's first movie was a very fun one to leap. It makes me excited for Violet's first trip to the theater...
Go to an animated feature at a theater now and you'll see children as young as a few months- even weeks- old at the theater along with their families. Not that it's a problem, sometimes if the family is going to see a movie, taking baby along is the only way to make it happen. But my point is that more often than not, children as young as one and two years old are almost as accustomed to making the trip to the movie theater as the trip to the grocery store.
Well, call me old-fashioned or over the top, but I was hoping my daughters' first "real" movie would be a special event they would remember for years to come. So we've been watching and waiting for the right time for Hope to go to the theater.
An obvious prerequisite was that she have the attention span to sit through an entire full-length movie at home. That requirement was only recently fulfilled. The next step was to wait for a movie to come out that my particular three year old would actually watch. For her, this means animation only. To her, real people= boring. To top it all off, Mommy (that would be me) is pretty particular about what movies Hope is allowed to watch at all. Even if it's a movie supposedly made for kids, I don't think a bunch of added-in adult humor, even though it goes over kids' head, is necessary. And although it's nearly impossible, we try to avoid toilet humor in movies. That comes naturally enough to kids already, I don't feel the need to encourage it further by providing my daughter with new material.
Hope's and my criteria was finally met with Disney's newest release UP!
We made a big deal with Hope about going to the movie theater. We talked to her in advance about how she would have to whisper during the movie because there would be a lot of other people there watching. We talked up the popcorn and asked her what kind of snack she would want.
All the preparation must have paid off because Hope's first movie was a success. A few moments were intense for her and she covered her eyes. The movie was during and past her bedtime as well, so she did get tired and was reclined in my lap by the time the movie was over. And due to her sensitivity to loud noises, Hope spent approximately half the movie with her hands over her ears. But overall, Faith thoroughly enjoyed the theater experience and our choice for her first movie.
On a side note, if you're going to take your newborn to a movie with you, a few tips. One, make sure they're well fed and either rested or ready to sleep during the movie. Two, be prepared to feed them- breast or bottle- or have a pacifier handy, should they start to make their presence known in the middle of the movie. Third, sit near an aisle so that, should the previous two efforts fail, you can make a quick exit to avoid disturbing other theater patrons. Fourth, and finally, as a last resort, if your tiny movie watcher should become inconsolable, be mentally prepared in advance that you may have to leave the theater altogether and possibly miss seeing the whole film and waste the money you spent on a ticket.
(That being said, I suppose it's quite obvious that we had a family with a small baby sitting directly behind us during the movie that was not entirely respectful of those around her. She definitely stayed within the parameters of proper theater decorum though. Also, I say the above as that this is what I would mentally prepare myself for if I chose to take an infant to a movie theater. In reality, I've chosen to avoid all of the above and just not do it.)
All a child's firsts are new and exciting hurdles their parents leap with them. And Hope's first movie was a very fun one to leap. It makes me excited for Violet's first trip to the theater...
Thursday, May 21, 2009
The Many Shades of Mommy Friendships
It is valuable and necessary to maintain your friendships after you become a mama. And no one friend category is more valuable than another, all are necessary.
Friends who have children around the same age as yours are a great source for talking about the ages and stages your kiddos are going through. There is something so valuable and comforting about bemoaning the frustration of potty-training along with someone who is also bruised from banging their head against the wall.
Then there are friends who have children just a few years older than yours. These friends are a valuable source of wisdom and insight as you grope aimlessly ahead for how to handle your children. They also are wonderful for giving some perspective when your current child-rearing issues have you in a dark, motherhood fog.
Another valuable source of friendship is those friends who don't have children. With them, you can stop being "mommy" for a little while, and just be... you. Refreshing. They are also a reminder of life before kids, which is important to remember. You are still that person and you need to stay in touch with her.
Make sure you take time to make and maintain each of these friendships. Play dates are a great way to spend time with mom friends whose children are close to your child's age. Other times, you can leave the kids home with hubby or, if you must, head out while the kids are in bed to spend time with friends. Or meet and spend time with other moms by joining a moms' group of some sort. Look up what is available in your area online or ask around.
One possible benefit of having close friends who are moms is trading babysitting. A friend and I do this weekly, and it's been a wonderful experience.
Today I took my girls over to her house for the day. They arrived at about 9:30 a.m. and I picked them up at 3:00. I was able to spend the day catching up on a myriad of volunteer work I do, most of it on the computer. You forget how fast you can work when you get used to having little ones running around your feet during every daily task.
Next week, she will bring her daughter, who is one year older than Hope, to my house for a day for about the same amount of time. It's not much more work for me to have one extra kiddo in the house and my friend gets a day to spend running errands or with her husband or even catching up on chores around the house- without a preschooler underfoot.
Ah, friendship. It can't be recommended highly enough...
Friends who have children around the same age as yours are a great source for talking about the ages and stages your kiddos are going through. There is something so valuable and comforting about bemoaning the frustration of potty-training along with someone who is also bruised from banging their head against the wall.
Then there are friends who have children just a few years older than yours. These friends are a valuable source of wisdom and insight as you grope aimlessly ahead for how to handle your children. They also are wonderful for giving some perspective when your current child-rearing issues have you in a dark, motherhood fog.
Another valuable source of friendship is those friends who don't have children. With them, you can stop being "mommy" for a little while, and just be... you. Refreshing. They are also a reminder of life before kids, which is important to remember. You are still that person and you need to stay in touch with her.
Make sure you take time to make and maintain each of these friendships. Play dates are a great way to spend time with mom friends whose children are close to your child's age. Other times, you can leave the kids home with hubby or, if you must, head out while the kids are in bed to spend time with friends. Or meet and spend time with other moms by joining a moms' group of some sort. Look up what is available in your area online or ask around.
One possible benefit of having close friends who are moms is trading babysitting. A friend and I do this weekly, and it's been a wonderful experience.
Today I took my girls over to her house for the day. They arrived at about 9:30 a.m. and I picked them up at 3:00. I was able to spend the day catching up on a myriad of volunteer work I do, most of it on the computer. You forget how fast you can work when you get used to having little ones running around your feet during every daily task.
Next week, she will bring her daughter, who is one year older than Hope, to my house for a day for about the same amount of time. It's not much more work for me to have one extra kiddo in the house and my friend gets a day to spend running errands or with her husband or even catching up on chores around the house- without a preschooler underfoot.
Ah, friendship. It can't be recommended highly enough...
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Moms Don't Have Time to Get Sick
I got a cold from my daughter on Sunday night. I thought, "No big deal, she just had a runny nose and cough. It only lasted two or three days. I'll just suck it up and pull through."
Wrong.
So far I've had a runny nose, itchy and watery eyes, an extremely sore throat, sinus congestion, and drainage from my nose and throat causing, finally, a cough. How did Hope make it look so easy?
On Monday I tried to rest and take it easy. We turned on cartoons for the whole morning and just sat around. I took a generic Claritin which, sadly, did absolutely nothing. However, I still had my chin up, I was sure Tuesday would be better!
I woke up Tuesday morning with a killer headache from stuffed sinuses and a piercingly sore throat, cancelled an appointment I had that morning but still pulled myself and kiddos out of the house for a meeting I had organized with some other mommies. At this point I'm now on Benadryl, so as I hung out with my friends and tried to keep my kids in check, I felt like my head was stuffed with cotton and I could fall down into a deep sleep at any moment.
By Tuesday afternoon, I grew tired of attempting to rest and recover. I realized- as I always do after more than one day of being sick- mommies don't have time to be sick!
And on another note- sorry to you working moms, this is just an aside, you honestly do have my utmost respect- this is espcially true for stay-at-home moms. Here's the deal, if you are a full-time working mom and have child care set up for your children, you just send your kids off to their normal care and go home and rest. Easy peasy! This doesn't work if you're a stay-at-home mom, you get sick and... you're still at work. It never leaves or gives you a break. The same tasks and routines that were there yesterday are still there today. Everyone still needs your help, and the ones who are shorter than waist high don't seem to care that much about your sore throat and runny nose.
So just like Clair Huxstable (on the episode when both her and Cliff got the flu at the same time), I have decided that I'm done being sick. Tonight my husband took the girls to church and left me at home all alone. I have two blissful hours of peace and quiet. And then? I'm done being sick. Sorry, body, but you have to suck it up now. Get back to work! Virus, we can meet again in say... seventeen years?
(For evidence that I truly do feel for sick moms and believe that we should use common sense and take care of ourselves, see How to Take Care of Your Kids When You Are Sick.
Wrong.
So far I've had a runny nose, itchy and watery eyes, an extremely sore throat, sinus congestion, and drainage from my nose and throat causing, finally, a cough. How did Hope make it look so easy?
On Monday I tried to rest and take it easy. We turned on cartoons for the whole morning and just sat around. I took a generic Claritin which, sadly, did absolutely nothing. However, I still had my chin up, I was sure Tuesday would be better!
I woke up Tuesday morning with a killer headache from stuffed sinuses and a piercingly sore throat, cancelled an appointment I had that morning but still pulled myself and kiddos out of the house for a meeting I had organized with some other mommies. At this point I'm now on Benadryl, so as I hung out with my friends and tried to keep my kids in check, I felt like my head was stuffed with cotton and I could fall down into a deep sleep at any moment.
By Tuesday afternoon, I grew tired of attempting to rest and recover. I realized- as I always do after more than one day of being sick- mommies don't have time to be sick!
And on another note- sorry to you working moms, this is just an aside, you honestly do have my utmost respect- this is espcially true for stay-at-home moms. Here's the deal, if you are a full-time working mom and have child care set up for your children, you just send your kids off to their normal care and go home and rest. Easy peasy! This doesn't work if you're a stay-at-home mom, you get sick and... you're still at work. It never leaves or gives you a break. The same tasks and routines that were there yesterday are still there today. Everyone still needs your help, and the ones who are shorter than waist high don't seem to care that much about your sore throat and runny nose.
So just like Clair Huxstable (on the episode when both her and Cliff got the flu at the same time), I have decided that I'm done being sick. Tonight my husband took the girls to church and left me at home all alone. I have two blissful hours of peace and quiet. And then? I'm done being sick. Sorry, body, but you have to suck it up now. Get back to work! Virus, we can meet again in say... seventeen years?
(For evidence that I truly do feel for sick moms and believe that we should use common sense and take care of ourselves, see How to Take Care of Your Kids When You Are Sick.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Grandparents
My parents just left this morning after a four day visit. I'm always a little sad when they pull out for the five hour drive back to Minnesota. I enjoy my time with them so much, it makes me miss them more when they are leaving than I do when we're apart.
Granted, my mom is one of my best friends. We talk on the phone almost every day, even if it's just for ten minutes, to check in on each other and keep up to date on the other's life.
I love seeing my parents playing with my girls. They have an obvious affection for each other, even though they're only together ever two or three months. I makes me excited for the day- far, far away- when I'll have grandchildren of my own.
Both of my children's "sets" of grandparents live out of state. Our home is in Wisconsin, my parents live in Minnesota, and my husband's parents abide in Ohio. It makes staying in touch more difficult, and doesn't allow for the wonderful grandparent benefit of free child care; but we make it work and manage to stay close emotionally despite the miles.
Here are a few ideas that work well for our family:
Regular phone calls. As stated, I call my mom regularly. I also make sure I get to talk to my dad every week or so. I also call my husband's parents about once a week. Since our parents aren't around to see our children's everyday lives, I make it a point to catch them up on new skills the girls are developing or funny things they said. They really enjoy hearing updates.
In addition, as soon as Hope could hold the phone without eating it, I began holding the phone to her ear to hear her grandparents' voices. Of course, she didn't talk back to them till much later, but I still feel it's beneficial for her to grow familiar with their voices at a young age, and they feel like they're connecting to her. Now that Hope is three, she can carry on two or three minutes conversations over the phone with her grandparents all by herself. And Violet is just starting the listening phase of phone conversations.
E-mails and Social Networking. Personally, I am much better at keeping in touch through writing than with phone calls. Subsequently, I attempt to e-mail our parents or contact them on Facebook once or twice a week. Facebook is also a great place to update them with photos or short video clips of the girls.
I even let Hope e-mail her grandparents occasionally. She pretends to type as she says out loud what she's "typing". And as she finishes each sentence, I re-type under her line what she said out loud. Her grandparents enjoy reading her messages, repetitive and pointless though they are, and she loves it when they write her back.
Web cams. Two or three Christmases ago, we bought both sets of grandparents and ourselves basic webcams. We hooked these up to our computers and now have the option to chat over the computer. This is fun for the girls because they can see their grandparents' faces as well as hear their voices. You can communicate with built in programs on your computer, use Yahoo, or even try the newer and extremely popular Skye.
Good, old-fashioned face-to-face visits. The drive from our house to my parent's is about five hours, to my husband's parents- nine. Not convenient, to be sure, but not an impossible distance to cross. It's obviously much easier for two adults to pack up and take a short road trip than it is for a family of four with small children, and so our parents commendably make a great effort to head to Wisconsin at least four times a year. We make the trek to their houses about twice a year each. Altogether that's a minimum of six face-to-face visits each year!
We even have, twice, gone on a group vacation- our family and all four grandparents. It's been a wonderful experience! Granted, this won't work for some families, but it may be an option for yours.
Sadly, grandparents are gone now, my husband's at work, and all the kiddie responsibilities fall to mommy. And on that note- I have to go! Violet is- loudly- calling!
Granted, my mom is one of my best friends. We talk on the phone almost every day, even if it's just for ten minutes, to check in on each other and keep up to date on the other's life.
I love seeing my parents playing with my girls. They have an obvious affection for each other, even though they're only together ever two or three months. I makes me excited for the day- far, far away- when I'll have grandchildren of my own.
Both of my children's "sets" of grandparents live out of state. Our home is in Wisconsin, my parents live in Minnesota, and my husband's parents abide in Ohio. It makes staying in touch more difficult, and doesn't allow for the wonderful grandparent benefit of free child care; but we make it work and manage to stay close emotionally despite the miles.
Here are a few ideas that work well for our family:
Regular phone calls. As stated, I call my mom regularly. I also make sure I get to talk to my dad every week or so. I also call my husband's parents about once a week. Since our parents aren't around to see our children's everyday lives, I make it a point to catch them up on new skills the girls are developing or funny things they said. They really enjoy hearing updates.
In addition, as soon as Hope could hold the phone without eating it, I began holding the phone to her ear to hear her grandparents' voices. Of course, she didn't talk back to them till much later, but I still feel it's beneficial for her to grow familiar with their voices at a young age, and they feel like they're connecting to her. Now that Hope is three, she can carry on two or three minutes conversations over the phone with her grandparents all by herself. And Violet is just starting the listening phase of phone conversations.
E-mails and Social Networking. Personally, I am much better at keeping in touch through writing than with phone calls. Subsequently, I attempt to e-mail our parents or contact them on Facebook once or twice a week. Facebook is also a great place to update them with photos or short video clips of the girls.
I even let Hope e-mail her grandparents occasionally. She pretends to type as she says out loud what she's "typing". And as she finishes each sentence, I re-type under her line what she said out loud. Her grandparents enjoy reading her messages, repetitive and pointless though they are, and she loves it when they write her back.
Web cams. Two or three Christmases ago, we bought both sets of grandparents and ourselves basic webcams. We hooked these up to our computers and now have the option to chat over the computer. This is fun for the girls because they can see their grandparents' faces as well as hear their voices. You can communicate with built in programs on your computer, use Yahoo, or even try the newer and extremely popular Skye.
Good, old-fashioned face-to-face visits. The drive from our house to my parent's is about five hours, to my husband's parents- nine. Not convenient, to be sure, but not an impossible distance to cross. It's obviously much easier for two adults to pack up and take a short road trip than it is for a family of four with small children, and so our parents commendably make a great effort to head to Wisconsin at least four times a year. We make the trek to their houses about twice a year each. Altogether that's a minimum of six face-to-face visits each year!
We even have, twice, gone on a group vacation- our family and all four grandparents. It's been a wonderful experience! Granted, this won't work for some families, but it may be an option for yours.
Sadly, grandparents are gone now, my husband's at work, and all the kiddie responsibilities fall to mommy. And on that note- I have to go! Violet is- loudly- calling!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
My First Blog
Ta-da!
Here I am, blogging for the first time. I've been writing in some form or fashion since second grade, and most recently have been trying my hand at publishing "hubs" at HubPages. As I have gotten back in the practice of writing regularly, this creative release- for me-has stirred the need to write more. But since I don't always have time to put the amount of effort I feel is needed into a full-fledged Hub, or article, I need a more casual, laid-back outlet for my writing. I hope this blog will meet my writing outlet needs while simultaneously being a helping hand or a kind smile to another mom out there reading my work.
And why don't I have time to put more time into my writing more regularly? To put it in only two words: Hope and Violet.
Hope and Violet would be my daughters, ages three and one. They are currently in bed, as is my husband, who works quite early in the morning at a second part-time job. And this peaceful time of the day, which not incidentally is my favoritel time of the day in this house, is about the only peace this house sees all day. It's the only time of the day that I get to sit still without constant pulling, interruptions, referreeing, or waiting on someone.
Let me begin my first blog by saying that I love being a mom. It is definitely the hardest thing I've ever done, yet it's also the most amazing. There are moments, I'll admit it, every day, that I wonder what I've done with my life and miss being a "productive member of society". As many times as I groan during the day, bemoaning the current state of my life, I try to intentionally acknowledge that I wouldn't trade these girls for anything I had before them. When I get tired and frustrated, I do my best to remind myself that in just a few years, I'll be missing these moments when they were so small.
I'm not going to make light of motherhood by saying, "It comes so naturally!" Most of it doens't. I find it to be a constant learning process, and I am learning and doing my best, one day at a time.
I am a fan of all moms. I think women who have chosen to pour their life into the nurturing of another human being are amazing, no matter in what details they go about said nurturing. I believe all mothers deserve respect and honor and support. My desire is that we would draw together and support one another in this journey of motherhood.
So join me on the journey! We're all muddling through this together, we might as well join hands. As we battle through each day, caught in the mire of the monotony of daily life and making the most minute decisions that could each potentially have an eternal impact- we need support. Let's mother together!
Here I am, blogging for the first time. I've been writing in some form or fashion since second grade, and most recently have been trying my hand at publishing "hubs" at HubPages. As I have gotten back in the practice of writing regularly, this creative release- for me-has stirred the need to write more. But since I don't always have time to put the amount of effort I feel is needed into a full-fledged Hub, or article, I need a more casual, laid-back outlet for my writing. I hope this blog will meet my writing outlet needs while simultaneously being a helping hand or a kind smile to another mom out there reading my work.
And why don't I have time to put more time into my writing more regularly? To put it in only two words: Hope and Violet.
Hope and Violet would be my daughters, ages three and one. They are currently in bed, as is my husband, who works quite early in the morning at a second part-time job. And this peaceful time of the day, which not incidentally is my favoritel time of the day in this house, is about the only peace this house sees all day. It's the only time of the day that I get to sit still without constant pulling, interruptions, referreeing, or waiting on someone.
Let me begin my first blog by saying that I love being a mom. It is definitely the hardest thing I've ever done, yet it's also the most amazing. There are moments, I'll admit it, every day, that I wonder what I've done with my life and miss being a "productive member of society". As many times as I groan during the day, bemoaning the current state of my life, I try to intentionally acknowledge that I wouldn't trade these girls for anything I had before them. When I get tired and frustrated, I do my best to remind myself that in just a few years, I'll be missing these moments when they were so small.
I'm not going to make light of motherhood by saying, "It comes so naturally!" Most of it doens't. I find it to be a constant learning process, and I am learning and doing my best, one day at a time.
I am a fan of all moms. I think women who have chosen to pour their life into the nurturing of another human being are amazing, no matter in what details they go about said nurturing. I believe all mothers deserve respect and honor and support. My desire is that we would draw together and support one another in this journey of motherhood.
So join me on the journey! We're all muddling through this together, we might as well join hands. As we battle through each day, caught in the mire of the monotony of daily life and making the most minute decisions that could each potentially have an eternal impact- we need support. Let's mother together!
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